What Would You Have Done in Monica's Position?

MadietheNerdMadietheNerd UnspecifiedPosts: 10
If you were Monica in TFiOS, would you have stayed with Isaac or separated from him, and if the latter, would you have broken up with him before or after the surgery that made him blind?


  • KinnyKinny Hula Paradise Posts: 233 ✭✭
    I guess it could be very hard to be in her position, and I can understand her and what she did, even if that was rude. However, I think I would have stayed with him. If I am dating someone, that means I have a really strong relationship with him. Therefore, being by his side then would only make that relationship stronger.
  • atomicpoppyatomicpoppy VirginiaPosts: 12
    Totally depends on how I feel about the person. My husband, way back when we were younger? I'd have stayed. My crazy ex girlfriend? It would have been an easy out.
  • MarcellaMarcella Yeah The NetherlandsPosts: 1,378 ✭✭✭
    It's difficult to imagine, but I think I'd stay with him. They seemed very much in love and both saw a future with the two of them together, so if I were Monica I would've stayed and at least tried to make it work.
    "If the kids don't believe, make them believe."

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  • OlleOlle Posts: 289 ✭✭✭
    Call me a killjoy, but I think anyone who says they know for sure what they'd do in that position is deluded or lying. =P It would depend so much on what the relationship was like, and so many other unknowns. It's an impossible and largely unimaginable situation.
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  • RussetRusset Posts: 11
    I can sort of understand how hard a decision it would be to make, to promise your boyfriend that you would stay with him always and yet have to deal with the heartbreak that comes with seeing him grapple with the world he can't even see. Most people would say that no matter what, they would stay together with Isaac in that position, because of the promise she had made, but really, it's hard to imagine a situation and predict the outcome until you already are stuck in the middle of it. 
  • jupiterrocks24jupiterrocks24 Amestris, of course!Posts: 26
    @Olle That is my opinion exactly. I really don't know how I'd react, but I'd hope, if Isaac was just like the Isaac in the books and he didn't have a side of him that I couldn't handle or something, that I stayed. I really can't imagine the situation in my head, and so it's really hard to predict the outcome, as @Russet said.

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    ~Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist

  • MadietheNerdMadietheNerd UnspecifiedPosts: 10
    I can understand why Monica did what she did. Life will be life, and as Hazel said, "cancer freaking sucks."
  • Gara_the_engineerGara_the_engineer In a log house at the edge of the forestPosts: 633 ✭✭✭
    It depends on the relation, but I assume I would have stayed. Some things are important, and make almost everything trivial in comparison. (I don't say that being blind is trivial, but handling a beloved one's blindness would probably be trivial compared to the love.)
    I've stayed with my fiancé in spite of the problems he had our first years, and he has stayed with me all of these years in spite of my sometimes very demanding issues. It depends on what kind of relation you have. If you're together because you like (or need) the calm and healthy person he/she is, then it would probably be hard to deal with such a change. But if you've found... (perhaps I should call it 'true love', for lack of a better word) true love then your affection to the person won't be affected by anything smaller than a significant personality change in either the partner or yourself.
    Two quotes from TFiOS that I find fitting in this discussion:
    "Grief doesn't change you. It reveals you." Said by van Houten about his divorce. I know hard times can change you, but needn't do, and if it just puts forth your sides that you mostly hide, it wouldn't be a problem if you're close enough to already know about these things and have already accepted them.
    "The urge to make art or contemplate philosophy does not go away when you are sick. Those urges just become transfigured by illness". You change the way you look upon things, but you're generally the same person anyway. So why would it matter if your beloved one can't see the chair in front of him? It's a practical problem for both of you, for him because he can't see the chair, and for you because you have to take care of a lot more than you had before since he can't. And he'll probably be very bothered about the whole thing too, so you won't have the most stable partner for an unknown period of time. But if you're strong enough to handle his issues with it, and you can accept that life's unfair and that you'll have to do a lot of work just because he can't, then I can't see why it would be enough to break up. Yes, it would be demanding. But not THAT demanding. Perhaps I'm forgetting to think of something, but that's my thoughts about it.
    I think the main thing with Monica is that she's just not mature enough to handle that her boyfriend gets a disability.
    The meaning of life is to give life a meaning
  • LibertyNerd25LibertyNerd25 The Good Ol' United States of AmericaPosts: 359 ✭✭✭
    I would have stayed. True love is when you are willing to stay with your partner regardless of a hard circumstance.

    It seems as if, however, that Monica may not have had that sort of connection with Issac. That their relationship was one of passion (from her perspective), instead of true bonding. Perhaps Issac was the only person who felt something real, hence his devastation.
    Democracy. Truly the most beautiful word in the English language.

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  • NerdyTeacherNerdyTeacher Posts: 30
    The question that came to my mind when I was reading was did Monica really love Issac? I mean we have to remember these are high school kids! I know I sure didn't love the guy I dated in high school. Sure I liked him, I thought he was a nice guy but I don't know if I could have stayed through a tragedy like that. I think it would be really hard to watch somebody go through something like that, especially if you cared for them. I don't know what I would have done. I don't think we can really know what we would do in that situation until we are in it. 
  • LunarEclipseLunarEclipse HogwartsPosts: 58
    I saying what you would have done in Monica's situation is really different than actually staying with him. I really agree with NerdyTeacher in all of his/her points. Monica was acting like a human, a high school human. It probably would have been unrealistic if she had stayed with him, so I'm glad John wrote it like he did.

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  • mutantninjalapenomutantninjalapeno Posts: 110 ✭✭
    edited March 2015
    I think if I were her I'd have probably stayed, but In the end I don't think it would have worked out long term because I don't think that their relationship was really strong enough to begin with. I don't necessarily think Isaac was really as attached to her as his grief made it seem; I think the breakup just seemed worse because of what he was going through.
  • m83m83 Posts: 6
    I would have definitely stayed.... I mean Isaac already had cancer when Monica met him which means she knew what she was signing up for right? You can't just freaking abandon your boyfriend when he's about to go blind........no decent human being would do that.
  • AndroZeusAndroZeus ScandinaviaPosts: 8
    If I'd made an "always" vow, it'd be because I meant it, and I wouldn't preemptively break up with my boyfriend just in case I had to break up with a blind man. 
  • IbokIbok Posts: 6
    I'm not sure what I would've done in her position but here's something to consider. If she can't handle him while he's about to go blind or she cant take it which in my opinion shows a lack of maturity, I wonder how she would've acted if she continued to date him?
  • beepbop1011beepbop1011 International Space StationPosts: 645 ✭✭✭
    It is better to not love someone than to love someone out of sympathy.
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  • I don't know if i can fully say, as we weren't given much information on Monica as a character. She was just the girl that he kissed. Maybe she was thinking about dumping him anyway. But I feel like if I'm in a relationship I'll be 100% committed, and I would stay in that situation.
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