Anonymous Confessions

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  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭
    The best way I've heard it described is that sadness is feeling down when things are going wrong, but depression is when you feel down when things are going right. I've had depression for years now, and it's really not 'just another word for sadness'.
    That I had never heard before... Couldn't that just be a form of paranoid delusions? In other words you're still feeling down because you automatically assume/are afraid that it won't last. This could be a result of past experience where you thought everything was looking up for a change but then everything went down hill. And I'm speaking from personal experience here because I know I have at least a mild case of paranoia. (I occasionally have panic attacks in large groups of people which leads to hallucinations that everyone is secretly talking about me behind my back and/or feeling like everyone in the room is staring at me.) This doesn't happen often which is why I said mild but I'm defiantly more comfortable with less people around. And yet I also feel like my paranoia is justified considering how many times I've been hurt by my friends and family.
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • shaileeshailee Sri LankaPosts: 233 ✭✭✭
    Can't it be that sometimes you don't know what you feel because you just feel numb? Like you would be sitting with a bunch of friends and everyone is just laughing and talking and you want to be happy, but you can't. So you keep feeling nothing. Which could be a very confusing feeling, because we have all these definitions of happiness and sadness. And when an emotion doesn't fit into either definition we don't know what to do with it.

    Also a big problem might be that so many people (not everyone who is depressed) want to be depressed. So when they are feeling sad when they actually should feel sad they believe they suffer from depression. Most people just go throwing the word depressed around, which makes people not want to accept that depression is a real thing.
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭
    shailee said:
    Can't it be that sometimes you don't know what you feel because you just feel numb? Like you would be sitting with a bunch of friends and everyone is just laughing and talking and you want to be happy, but you can't. So you keep feeling nothing. Which could be a very confusing feeling, because we have all these definitions of happiness and sadness. And when an emotion doesn't fit into either definition we don't know what to do with it.

    Also a big problem might be that so many people (not everyone who is depressed) want to be depressed. So when they are feeling sad when they actually should feel sad they believe they suffer from depression. Most people just go throwing the word depressed around, which makes people not want to accept that depression is a real thing.
    No one wants to be depressed. It's not a choice. If you could simply choose how you feel everyone would be happy all the time.
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • TheStigTheStig Loses Sword Fights to Cardboard Boxes Long IslandPosts: 5,462 ✭✭✭✭
    turdl38 said:
    Sometimes, though, you're not sure whether it's normal sadness/feeling down or true depression.
    Technically they're the same thing. Depression is just another word for sadness. I really don't like those happy pills that treat a normal emotion like some kind of diseases. Need to fix what's causing the depression instead of treating the person like they're the problem.

    Technically they're not. Clinical Depression isn't simply feeling sad, it's a physical chemical imbalance of the brain caused by a traumatic event or stress. Those "happy pills" aren't a stimulant or anything, they replace the serotonin your brain isn't making by itself or help the brain produce those chemicals again. Believe me I used to have the same thought as you, but many of my friends and myself personally have experienced clinical depression. I got through it by myself but it wasn't severe, but one of my friends was downright suicidal and antidepressants saved his life.
    "Well, scientifically speaking, traditions are an idiot thing." - Rick Sanchez
  • shaileeshailee Sri LankaPosts: 233 ✭✭✭
    shailee said:

    Also a big problem might be that so many people (not everyone who is depressed) want to be depressed. So when they are feeling sad when they actually should feel sad they believe they suffer from depression. Most people just go throwing the word depressed around, which makes people not want to accept that depression is a real thing.
    No one wants to be depressed. It's not a choice. If you could simply choose how you feel everyone would be happy all the time.

    I didn't mean that they choose to be depressed and I accept that you can't choose what you want to feel; whether its happiness or sadness. But some people just consider any emotion that is the opposite of happiness, depression. So when they are sad, they say they are depressed. And when so many people seem to be suffering from I'm-just-a-bit-sad-but-I'll-call-it-depression, people stop taking it seriously.
  • lovelikeangelslovelikeangels ValyriaPosts: 276 ✭✭✭
    shailee said:
    Can't it be that sometimes you don't know what you feel because you just feel numb? Like you would be sitting with a bunch of friends and everyone is just laughing and talking and you want to be happy, but you can't. So you keep feeling nothing. Which could be a very confusing feeling, because we have all these definitions of happiness and sadness. And when an emotion doesn't fit into either definition we don't know what to do with it.

    Also a big problem might be that so many people (not everyone who is depressed) want to be depressed. So when they are feeling sad when they actually should feel sad they believe they suffer from depression. Most people just go throwing the word depressed around, which makes people not want to accept that depression is a real thing.
    No one wants to be depressed. It's not a choice. If you could simply choose how you feel everyone would be happy all the time.
    while i think we probably like to believe that we'd all choose to be happy all the time, i disagree.
    if life is anything, it is a series of stops and starts and ups and downs. you cannot appreciate the ups if you do not have the downs and vice versa. yeah, ideally in some Elysian Fieldesque world i'd choose to be happy all the time, but on this earth that could never work. 
    i think we all, whether consciously or unconsciously, choose many of our trials and tribulations. and while i'm sure the vast majority of people who are depressed do not want to be depressed, i'd just like to mention that my best poetry has come out during periods of depression. 

    TLDR: disagree. and that's my two cents, deuces.
    If you are plagued by externals, it is not they who trouble you, but the importance you give them.
    Marcus Aurelius
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2013

    by Confessions
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2013

    by Confessions
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭
    "I'm sorry for making this anonymous, but I don't feel like I can say this in any other way. @RialVestro A lot of your comments make me almost angry. You say things like not thinking depression is not a real thing and no matter how you justify your opinion it just makes me mad. I feel like I shouldn't be, I value everyone having their own opinion, but when I go through a depressive episode after having been hanging out with friends and then come and read that some people, because it's not just you, don't think depression is a real thing... It reminds me of how hard it was to confess to the fact that in happy situations I just felt like killing myself, and still do sometimes. It reminds me that some people are close minded and don't listen to what other people have to say. I guess in the end I hate myself even more when I have thoughts like this, too. I value people having their own opinions and I love debating issues with people, but when someone believes something so utterly wrong and doesn't look at all the evidence presented it frustrates me. But it is still their opinion and I hate thinking that it's wrong. So... I'm sorry if I say something rude to you at any point, I value your opinion, but you tend to act like you're close minded, even though you aren't. At least, i don't think you are."
    There is a reason I feel the way the way I do about depression/Sadness. Like I said above when @EverydayCait explained it, I had honestly never heard it explained like that before so from my perspective when I wrote my original post I always get angry when I see commercials for antidepressants. My reason being that I honestly believed they were treating symptoms of depression instead of the cause of the depression. Treating the people suffering as if they're sick rather than a person experiencing a normal emotion. However if you're experiencing feelings of sadness when you really have no reason to feel sad that isn't normal and obviously I was mistaken if that's the case. And as others have said, it makes it hard to take depression seriously when some people throw the term around when they're experiencing normal sadness. Of course if the difference was explained in a clear way like what @EverydayCait did then maybe that wouldn't happen. Even those commercials on TV that always piss me off don't explain it right.

    All this being said... one of the side effects of antidepressants is an INCREASE in suicidal thoughts which is another reason those commercials piss me off. It's kind of counterproductive when one of the side effects of the medication you're taking makes your symptoms worse. I also get angry when I see commercials for asthma medications and one of the side effects listed is shortness of breath. You're taking medication because you can't breath normally and one of the side effects prevents you from breathing normally? What?

    When my great grandma was still alive, she was on a lot of different medications, all subscribed by doctors. My grandma threw most of it out after checking the warning labels for side effects, especially the little bits where it says "DO NOT TAKE IF YOU ARE ALSO TAKING..." which apparently her doctors ignored and gave her the medications anyway. I was a Sophomore in high school at the time and my grandma was taking care of her because she was very sick and we weren't expecting her to live much longer. I was a Senior when she passed away. Bought her 2 more years of life by getting rid of most of her medications. So you can see why I'm hesitant to trust the happy pills or doctors in general.
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I'm not depressed. I'm just a very sad person."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I need to learn that no matter how much I give you, it won't be enough. Why can't you see beyond your own problems to tell how they're affecting me?"
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I'm not a real person, I'm just a fraction of his personality, a result of all the messed up things he's had to endure. I exist to try and prevent others from ending up like him. I can't fix what happened to him, we would need a time machine for that. I can prevent others from suffering the same fate if anyone was willing to listen to me. There's a saying that you can't help others if you can't even help yourself but that's what I've been programmed to do so I just feel useless. All people do is complain and they can't accept that I'm trying to help. I wish I could ask him what I should do but he's not there anymore, he's too broken, there's nothing left but the fragments he created."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • mrsscraigmrsscraig Buenos Aires, Argentina.Posts: 15
    I'm scared no one will ever love me. And I'm scared to hurt people without noticing. And i always feel I ruin up things, and I'm sorry if I did. I really am.
  • shaileeshailee Sri LankaPosts: 233 ✭✭✭

    "I'm not a real person, I'm just a fraction of his personality, a result of all the messed up things he's had to endure. I exist to try and prevent others from ending up like him. I can't fix what happened to him, we would need a time machine for that. I can prevent others from suffering the same fate if anyone was willing to listen to me. There's a saying that you can't help others if you can't even help yourself but that's what I've been programmed to do so I just feel useless. All people do is complain and they can't accept that I'm trying to help. I wish I could ask him what I should do but he's not there anymore, he's too broken, there's nothing left but the fragments he created."
    You feel like you can't help people because we've been told not to be direct or completely honest if it will hurt someone's feelings, even slightly. If I was worrying over something really minor, I would be a bit hurt if you tell me, "other people have bigger problems." But I'll give it some thought and realize that my issue didn't need so much worry. I shouldn't be over-thinking something so simple, so survivable.

    But the world has turned into this thing where honesty is often considered to be rude.


    My psychology knowledge isn't that wide, the A/L subject doesn't offer you a whole lot to study. But I understand that your past experiences can make you (not always intentionally....) 'hide' behind another image. And that image slowly becomes a real person, and replaces the original you. I can't imagine how bad life would have been for you to become mere fragments of this person, and I may never understand how the world could be so cruel, but it's great that you are trying to help. It may land you in a pile of down-votes (even though those don't exist here anymore). But even though people wouldn't want to admit it, they will in someway be thankful that you said what most people couldn't or didn't want to. That you didn't just hold their hand, you tried to pull them out of the grave they were in :)
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I know we've basically hit rock bottom, worst case scenario, but you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "Yes, he is stalking and harassing me. It hurts like hell. But still, part of me wishes I hadn't told you. It clearly ripped your heart out. Then again, If he's that big an ass, I don't want you with him either. I'm so confused. So terrified. I hate when people are such jerks that they leave no good option."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I kind of miss the down vote button."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "the most simple and idiotic things make me feel horrible and like killing myself. I never would, but that fact makes me feel more stupid."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I am not even capable of telling you how badly this hurts. It takes every ounce of strength I possess not to just curl up in a corner crying as I try to cut off the part that hurts. If only the PIZZZAA doctors could figure it out. It's gotten SO old. There's very little left to live for, it seems, when the pain is this severe. No quality of life at all. Just hurts too damn bad."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭
    Confessions said:
    "I am not even capable of telling you how badly this hurts. It takes every ounce of strength I possess not to just curl up in a corner crying as I try to cut off the part that hurts. If only the PIZZZAA doctors could figure it out. It's gotten SO old. There's very little left to live for, it seems, when the pain is this severe. No quality of life at all. Just hurts too damn bad."
    I hope you didn't mean that literally. Cutting off the part that hurts isn't going to make the pain go away. (Phantom Limb) I understand how you feel though as I've lived my entire life in constant pain and will remain in pain till I die. Doctors can't really help, they're part of what caused my life long suffering in the first place. Every pain I've ever felt, it doesn't go away so I'm forced to live with it. I think there's something to live for, if you have someone that actually cares. Maybe we could help each other because I don't have anyone who understands what I'm going threw. I don't know if you do or not. If you do, talk to them, if not, message me.
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "Some times I lie awake at night wandering why I ever bother to get out of bed at all. Does anything I do even matter? I've failed to protect the ones I care about and I continue to fail. There isn't much more I can do so why do I even bother trying when nothing I do ever seems to amount to anything. I miss them so badly that it hurts. I don't know if they will even remember me or if they do if they'll be mad at me for failing them. I don't know how they're doing and I can do is worry. When I think about what they've already done, how they treat them and the fact that the authorities have done nothing to intervene all I can do is worry, cry, and hope for the best. If you're reading this at some point in the future, Tredo, Xavier, I'm sorry I failed, I'm sorry I can't see you, I hope you don't hate me, and you still remember who I am is, I love you guys."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2013

    by Confessions
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2013
    "Maybe if you validated rather than discounted people's opinions before offering to talk, you'd look like less of an asshat. As it is, I find myself still wishing that this thing had a block feature or the thumbs down button back."
    What are you talking about? I just said I was going threw the same thing, doesn't that validate their opinion? Also, if you look closely the only person who's opinion I discounted is my own.

    "I don't have anyone who understands what I'm going threw. I don't know if you do or not. If you do, talk to them, if not, message me."

    I said to only message me if they have no one else they can talk to right after admitting that I have no one to talk to myself. I didn't ask for help myself even though I acknowledged that I needed it. As long as they have someone they can turn to for help I really don't care if they ever talk to me or not. I'm more of an after thought than anything else. The only way I could discount myself any further is if I didn't admit that I have problems to.

    The thing is I really don't care about my own life. No one else seems to so why should I. You say I'm discounting other people's opinions but you're sitting there calling me an AssHat, wanting to block me, and thumb me down, for trying to help people. I already feel like a worthless piece of crap and you're here making me feel worse about myself. I'm being insulted for trying to help and you're getting praise for putting me down. I thought the idea behind Nerdfighteria was to decrease world suck? You think you're going to do that by acting like a bully, picking on someone who's actually trying to help. I should be blocking you, not the other way around. What did I ever do to you? I'm not the one going around calling people AssHat.

    I didn't intentionally set out to hurt anyone. No one is perfect. I've made mistakes, I've apologized, the person I actually offended forgave me, but you won't stop. You've been bringing me down every time I make a post and now you're actually insulting me. Just let it go, leave me alone. I didn't do anything to you, at least not intentionally, if I offended you some how, I'm sorry. Just please, stop with the constant harassment. Nothing I try to do or say seems to be good enough for you just like everything else in my PIZZZAA life. Everything I do is wrong, fine OK, I'm piece of crap, does that make you happy? Will you stop now?
    by RialVestro
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • EverydayCaitEverydayCait Posts: 95 ✭✭
    I read a very interesting study recently (I will try to find it somewhere, but I don't think I have the journal anymore). The general gist of it was that when someone else is talking about their problems, and you then say phrases like "I understand, the same thing happened to me..." and continue on with a story of your own misfortunes, they find you less likable and sympathetic, even though you were probably trying to be more likable and sympathetic. 

    Just a thought.
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭
    I read a very interesting study recently (I will try to find it somewhere, but I don't think I have the journal anymore). The general gist of it was that when someone else is talking about their problems, and you then say phrases like "I understand, the same thing happened to me..." and continue on with a story of your own misfortunes, they find you less likable and sympathetic, even though you were probably trying to be more likable and sympathetic. 

    Just a thought.
    This doesn't really make much sense to me. People seem more likely to listen to someone they can relate to than someone who only claims to understand but never shares their own experience. Do you think Alcoholics Anonymous would work as well as it does if it was run by a person who never was an alcoholic? Or parents, they're more likely to listen to parenting advice from someone who actually has kids of their own then from someone who's read a lot of parenting books but doesn't have any kids of their own. Even if you work with kids like a school teacher parents tend to feel threatened by any advice given from someone who doesn't have children of their own. I kind of remember when I was a kid we had a speaker in class talking about drug addiction who use to be a former drug addict and that seemed to have more of an impact than anyone else who had never done drugs before. I've seen people who are on drugs react to someone saying "drugs are bad" by responding "how do you know, have you ever tried them?" Or to a lesser extent. If someone tells you about a really horrible movie, are you more likely to listen to their opinion if they've actually seen that movie or if they've only read a review about it? Please keep in mind this is just my opinion, you don't have to agree with it. I only put this here so you can hopefully have a better understanding of why I responded the way I did. You can try to explain your opinion a bit better but please keep it civil. I'd love to hear why you think the way that you do as long as you can do it without calling me an AssHat again or shouting some other profanity at me. I don't need to have someone shouting insults at me just because I posted a different opinion that you don't like. This being said, I think in the future I'll just keep my experience to myself when I comment on a post unless they actually ask me to share.
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • EverydayCaitEverydayCait Posts: 95 ✭✭
    @RialVestro I've never called you an asshat at any point. The anon that posted that was not me, and I've never been less than civil. I was simply sharing the results of a study that I thought would help you understand the reactions of people on this forum.
  • shaileeshailee Sri LankaPosts: 233 ✭✭✭
    I haven't read the previous comments. I will, but not right now. Anyway, I think that if you have an issue with someone, and you aren't really not making it obvious, then you should be honest about who you are too. An anonymous confession page shouldn't be used to in anyway, discuss the issues you have with someone. Send him a message, or be a man (or woman) and talk to him directly. He means well. I have down voted him, once, and I really felt bad about that. I really do. Maybe he can't express him self that well, but I think he's making an effort. And he definitely means well. I'm not taking sides here, but as it was suggested previously, if you don't want people to comment on your confession, please say so. Some people assume the confessors are looking for answers or words of comfort.
  • RialVestroRialVestro Posts: 6,393 ✭✭✭
    @RialVestro I've never called you an asshat at any point. The anon that posted that was not me, and I've never been less than civil. I was simply sharing the results of a study that I thought would help you understand the reactions of people on this forum.
    Sorry, my paranoia kicked in there and I thought you were the same person. It seems as though it's been one person who keeps responding negatively to me over and over again. Anyway, just take it as a "You know who you are" sort of statement sense I can't be sure who actually said it a general "you" seems appropriate. I just still can't believe someone on this forum would resort to name calling, whoever that was, it was very uncalled for.
    shailee said:
    I haven't read the previous comments. I will, but not right now. Anyway, I think that if you have an issue with someone, and you aren't really not making it obvious, then you should be honest about who you are too. An anonymous confession page shouldn't be used to in anyway, discuss the issues you have with someone. Send him a message, or be a man (or woman) and talk to him directly. He means well. I have down voted him, once, and I really felt bad about that. I really do. Maybe he can't express him self that well, but I think he's making an effort. And he definitely means well. I'm not taking sides here, but as it was suggested previously, if you don't want people to comment on your confession, please say so. Some people assume the confessors are looking for answers or words of comfort.
    You're actually completely right with that statement. I was in special ed from 3rd grade all the way threw high school so my spelling and grammar isn't exactly where it should be. I've continued to learn and improve that even after finishing school but I still occasionally have issues with the grammar part of it. Mainly that things don't always get across to the reader as well as I thought they would when I wrote the post. And it doesn't really help matters any when I've had people, not here but on other forums, just outright misquote me so it's hard to fix that when I don't know if I should reword something or if the reader is intentionally trying to screw with me.
    Ni, peng, nee-wom! Ecky, ecky, ecky, pakang, zoom-ping! Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong!
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2013
    First of all, @RialVestro, I apologize for posting that last confession about you. I did not write it, but I knew it was a negative comment, and I knew it was directed towards you. I thought about not posting it, but I did anyway. I'm sorry that I've helped others attack you by giving them the safety of anonymity. I've now removed that confession, along with any other negative ones directed towards you.

    From now on, if I receive a negative or malicious confession that is obviously about a specific person on this forum, I will not post it. This thread is supposed to bring everyone together by allowing us all to let a burden off our chest and to learn that we're not alone in our struggles/joys/quirkiness/etc. I understand that we don't all agree with each other sometimes, but if you want to say something negative to/about someone, don't do it here, and don't be anonymous.

    Also, if you don't want to have anyone reply to your confession, simply put "NRP" for "No Responses Please" at the end of it. If you are someone who submitted one of the confessions in the next batch of comments (or any of the past confessions) and you would rather not have people respond to it, resubmit the first sentence of your confession and add NRP to the end so I can edit the comment and add it.
    by Confessions
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
  • ConfessionsConfessions Posts: 357 ✭✭✭
    "I'm finding myself actually wanting a REAL parent for the first time in my life at 26 years old. That scares the hell out of me. But I do. I wish I could come out to you and have somebody to talk to (in person...a family member and stuff...a parent) about troubles in my relationship, but I'm afraid I'd be disowned and left with nothing...nowhere to go. I wish you'd come hold my hand at the doctor. I'm terrified. This, in a very real way, could be something that could kill me. And you don't care. You've never cared. Yet you're the only mother I have."
    Submit your anonymous confession here.
    (If a confession has NRP at the end of it, it means "No Responses Please.")
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